Training hard to be a pup at the beginning
Training prepares you for challenges and stress you can face in human pup play. It is naive to think that every future pup play experience you will have is going to be full on fun time every moment. It's silly to think that automatically you and your Master will know exactly what to do in every situation of pup play, that it will all be perfect, that you will grasp pupspace instantly and experience heavenly pleasure. Of course most pups are not this delusional, but naivety regarding pup play is surprisingly common.
If you think you can't benefit from training in human pup play, that's good for you - irony not withstanding. Most people aren't paragons of pup play, so some practice and preparation is a good thing for them. Training effectively and with dedication is the best enhancement you can probably do for pup play. The more you sweat and work in training the easier and smoother play is.
You may have heard of the terms submissive, dominant, boy, omega etc. Do yourself a favour and stop using them in your head right now in regards to pup play training. Many terms have quite specific meanings in Sirius Pup Training, and as you come to them you can learn and incorporate terms in use. Otherwise these labels, these described roles, are an active hindrance to how you engage in training. Sir is a polite form of address for your Master, so it's worth speaking.
The best way to approach training is to think of it in a specific way -
you are either looking forward to it or simply eager to get it over and done with.
At first glance, that statement may seem needlessly blunt and black and white. To help understand this statement better, take a deep breath, and cast your mind to how you think or imagine a training session can and should go. We will contrast and compare with two possible, and common, scenarios.
In the first scenario, we have a pup readying for training. He automatically thinks of himself as a submissive pup, and deep down he hopes to soon fulfil his fantasy of being a perfect "boy" for his "daddy sir". This pup has his gear ready and is yearning for a sexually charged training session so he can feel good after a stressful week at work. The training session "has to be" his big chance to lose himself in pupspace and forget all his worries and anxieties. This pup may sound like the best prepared pup, ready for training, but he isn't.
Consider scenario two. This pup doesn't have all the gear, as he can't afford it all right now. This pup has no idea if he is dominant or submissive, he just wants to learn pup play. He does have doubts that he is or will turn out to be a good pup, but he has responded to his trainers overtures with determination to give it a go and explore and learn. Some days he is really eager and can't wait to do something new in training. Other days, his mind is unfocused and he simply just wants to get training done so he can feel competent at human pup play. Sooner he feels competent and has reached a goal, sooner he can perform with confidence and look at something new and challenging. This pup, with his uncertainty and wavering enthusiasm, sounds less able and less dedicated to his internal pup self. He is not.
What is important to note is the critical differences in approach and baggage brought to training. Pup of scenario one has predetermined expectations of his training session. To ensure he gets his fantasy fulfilled, he comes to training with an ambition of wish fulfilment disguised as sincere service to his master and dedication to training. By casting himself in a definite role he has narrowed his focus, and will be less open to understanding his experience in training - anything that doesn't fit into his pre-determined vision of what has to happen for the training session to work he will cast aside as a distraction at best or an awful hurdle at worst. With all that emotional expectation built up from a weeks worth of stress, he has set up a high threshold of satisfaction, a big demand from his pup play training session, and if (more likely when) it fails to be "the best time ever with Daddy Sir" scenario one pup experiences a crash of disappointment.
A fundamental lesson to learn from scenario one pup is this: don't load yourself up with high expectations with a pup play session. Avoid going to training with big emotional demands.
What often happens when a pups emotional demands and overly high expectations are not met is that pup takes on a victim mentality, placing themselves as the wronged party. "Master expects too much" or "the wrong things" or "has not appreciated" pup enough etc. The rationalisations are easy to come by, as scenario one pup channels his disappointment from not having as good a time as desired into "a problem". When more evidence can be found to support "a problem", it becomes a roadblock to training and can be a wall between Master and Pup.
Before we all despair over potential difficulties, let's examine scenario two pup to understand some principles that help in pup play and training. The pup in scenario two has doubts about his ability or how an upcoming session will go. This is helpful, as scenario two pup is not constructing emotional demands and projecting them like scenario one pup. Instead, he is focused on the training and doing it. This is a vital trait everyone in pup play can adopt and accentuate in themselves.
Before pup play training, you should either be looking forward to it with reasoned enthusiasm, or you should be looking forward to getting that training over and done with to be practised and better prepared for future play.
You will notice the conditional modifier included in the statement above - "reasoned" enthusiasm. Scenario one pup may indeed be keen but his expectations are unreasonable, fuelled by heavy emotional demands. Pup training and play will not solve problems or relieve enormous amounts of stress every time. And when it fails to do so, the unreasoned pup often finds fault everywhere but where the actual problem started - with scenario ones emotions. Confidence and enthusiasm is good, but overconfidence and enthusiasm fulled by emotional demand is going to lead to hurt when failures happen.
The doubts of scenario two pup are natural and to be expected. Performance anxiety affects everyone at times. It is reasonable to be concerned about how you are doing or going to do at pup play. It can be helpful to know you are never alone in having some anxiety at times. There is always one thing you can do to fight such anxiety - practice and train. If you are a worried pup, calm yourself by learning some new things or polish your established skills. Train hard so you feel confident. Then you are able to handle everything better.
