How to ask

Making requests is a skill you need to develop as a pup, so you can look after yourself properly and effectively communicate your needs and wants without distress or worry. It is going to happen in pup play that you will need to ask for things, or ask for things not to happen. Sometimes these requests are very important because they are about your safety, or to do with the quality of your pup play experience. So presented here is a straightforward process to making a simple request:-

1 - Start with a softening statement

2 - Ask the direct, specific question

3 - Make an appreciation statement

So first, you start with a softening statement, which means you simply begin by saying something polite, reasonable, and considerate. This establishes that you are not being confrontational or hostile, and that you are being reasonable. This kind and friendly statement disarms your Owner and Trainer from feeling you are being demanding. An example is: 

"Sir, would you mind if..." 

"Boss, it would be very helpful if you would...." 

"Master, I was wondering if...." 

Notice that these statements are not grovelling or fawning, they are just simple opening statements that inform your Owner and Trainer that you wish to make a request and are about to do so, giving a few seconds for your Master to get into the right frame of mind to hear you. You might want to say a longer statement, and that is fine. Just don't say more than a sentence, as it may come across as fawning or nervous. Saying a short softening statement with a sincere smile and in a calm tone usually helps smooth the way to a good result on your request.  

After making the softening statement, you will want to add a specific question. With making the request, say it in as matter of fact way and as calmly as possible. You state what you want clearly and precisely. The shorter the request, as in a sentence or two, means the easier it will be for your Master to understand and consider.  

If you frame your request as reasonable and in a style as something a normal person would usually ask you can get your message across without activating resistance, avoiding immediate reluctance to give you what you are asking for.

So before asking, take a minute to think how would a normal everyday person be expected to ask this question. If you personalise the question too much you risk your request being deflected and ignored as the conversation takes a turn to discussing you and your needs rather than the simple request. If you blame your Owner or imply that he is wrong and at fault it's less likely you will succeed with your request. You will at least get some resistance and possibly some hostility. You can discuss your Owner and Trainers faults, but it is always better to frame a request separately so that you can get what you are asking for without a conflict.

Now that you have made the request, you finish with a final statement that shows you value what your Owner and Trainer does. Being nice and appreciative smooths over any potential differences or disruption that occurred from your request and reinforces that you are respectful and not excessively demanding in your behaviour. Some examples are:

"This will make a real difference to me Sir" 

"This is really appreciated Boss" 

"Thanks for your effort Master" 

You have a right to make requests and ask for things pup. Doing it in such a way as described above vastly improves your chances of it being conceded to. This method of asking for something is not a formula for all dialogue - you shouldn't try and resolve conflicts this way for example. It is simply a way to ask for something.