The Process for Meeting a New Pup
Finding a newcomer that will integrate well with your pack, or even just finding a person who will train well under your instruction, almost always requires meeting them and evaluating their aptitude for human pup play. This person is literally auditioning for the role of becoming a human pup in your care. So knowing how to conduct that audition helps show a potential pup you are a competent potential Owner and Trainer for them, and it makes for a smoother experience for everyone involved.
In short, you start with a basic interview to get a sense of the individual. Then you have the person perform a few human pup play actions to evaluate a persons physical capabilities and comfort zone. After this interview you will follow up communication with the person if they have potential as your pup. You can check their interactions with other pups and trainers. Through all of this, your main goal is to learn about the physical, psychological, and emotional makeup of that person as a pup.
Keep in mind that potential pups are likely to nervous, and this person you are meeting will probably be anxious about you and whether they are going to find what they are looking for. So judging a pup as unsuitable simply because they appear nervous is not sensible. Potential pups may have little to no idea what pup play really entails, so some nerves are to be expected. It's best to handle uncertainties head on. Engaging in idle chit chat and small talk will often simply prolong the tension rather than put someone at ease. It is best to get the pup play elements of your interview with a potential pup out of the way first, and then have a friendly chat later. By choosing to be straight up with the pup play you are also sending a message you are to a be an Owner and Trainer, not a buddy.
As their potential Owner and Trainer you need to be sensitive to a potential pups mood as they enter the room. Take in impressions of your potential pup, but don't let your gut feelings determine what is going to happen next. Keep to a process so that you aren't ever lost when dealing with an unexpected turn of events from meeting a potential new pup.
1: Before you meet, have protocols set out
Taking a little bit of time to prepare before you meet a potential new pup isn't simply cleaning the tails and polishing the leather hoods and collars. It is also interacting with them, as a person rather than pup, and establishing some ground rules and protocols that you can both adhere to. It's best to get this done before physically meeting for the first time as a trainer and potential pup, not reading out rules and expectations when you first meet face to face. So you should know each others names and phone numbers. You should both clearly understand and acknowledge that your meeting up is about pup play and judging their potential as a pup for you to train, if not own. You are also best served by having the potential pup come to see you at a quiet location you have control over. Meeting up at a noisy club is more like a date, not an interview for pup training and ownership. It can send a wrong message potentially. And meeting at a cafe or neutral venue is nice if you want to chat as friends, not if you want to assert yourself as a potential owner. It is understandable if a pup wants to be careful, as there are fucktard crazies out there - and you won't be one of them. It should go without saying that you are going to be a decent and reasoned Owner and Trainer of pups. This guide is not for the stupid and cruel, and it makes the assumption you are empathetic and considerate of others.
What to notice at this point - look at how seriously the pup takes meeting you as an early sign of their social behaviour. If a person behaves rudely and seems flakey at this first step, then there is a good chance they will resist being a disciplined and well trained pup. When you hear of what a pup is like from others, you can take that under advisement and form your own opinion after meeting them. And if this potential pup has trouble doing the same for you, to form their own opinion of you rather than listen to hearsay, then they are not worth your time.
2: Be strong, not a dick
On that note, we come to step two of the process of meeting a potential new pup. When you do greet them in person, do it in an assertive manner. Do not rush to dominate your new pup. It is inappropriate behaviour, and if anything, shows you are insecure. You want to show what you are, calm and confident as a Master, so you should aim to put the pup at ease to a degree whilst still maintaining control over the meeting. Behave with poise and quiet command, and be friendly - but not a buddy or pal - to this potential new pup. Look to your body language and vocal expression to make sure you are projecting calm ease and assertiveness. If you are constantly talking up your exploits and prowess, challenging the person on whether they are worthy of your time, or even giving a stern indifference, then you are likely to come across as a dickhead, not a competent Owner and Trainer.
What to notice at this point - you might be looking for the sexiest and most attractive pup in the world to have as your own, but it is best to step back and appraise this potential new pup from a different perspective. A pups hair, skin, features can and probably will be disguised by gear such as hoods and suits. A pups height quickly becomes irrelevant when they are on all fours. Focusing and paying attention to a pups physical features for their sexual worth will be a distraction from what is far more important - the pups personality. A persons body is far less important than the emotional qualities they bring to pup play. So at this point, you should be listening to what the pup is saying not checking out their body for hotness or not.
3: Get the person performing as a pup
Many people feel nervous being interviewed and asked questions, so you can help distract them by asking your potential new pup to show you some of their understanding of postures as a pup, show you their pup gear, and get physically active in some pup movements. It may very well be that the person has no idea of pup postures, you can teach them some on the spot. They may have no gear, you can have them look over tails and hoods and suits and mitts and collars you have. The activity of doing this physical stuff allows you to subtly talk and ask questions during it. You don't have to care about what they are precisely answering, more you can evaluate your potential pup on how much presence, energy, and how social and open they are as you both interact. At this stage of the process you want to gauge how emotionally stable the person you are dealing with is. Don't rush to judge to harshly, as most people are uncertain and nervous when examined. Ask your questions in a calm and assertive manner, and in your own style. Here are some samples of what you can ask as you have the pup moving about or handling gear....
What is your understanding of pup play?
What is your experience of pup play?
What has been your experiences in BDSM?
What is your relationship status?
Do you have any pup friends?
With questions, you should be able to probe further, often asking specifics. It is important you show respect for the privacy of other people not in the room. You don't need to intrude and know the details of a persons sex life with their partner, but you do need to know if they are openly telling their partner about pup play or keeping it secret from them. What all of you questions will reveal is less about the exact information given, and more about helping you form an impression of the pup you are dealing with.
4: It's what's not being shown than matters
Step four of the process is looking beyond what is on the surface that the potential pup is showing, and finding the answers to these questions you should be asking yourself.
Does the pup listen to you and respond well?
Does the person believe in pup play as something they can do?
Is the pup sensitive to others, do they have some empathy for how others feel?
Is the person energised and ready to express themselves as a pup?
Does the person have an idea of their potential role as a pup? Are they connected to a pup self or are they aping canine behaviour and it seems faked?
Does the person bring something different to being pup? Do they have something to bring, to give to the pack?
A person who won't listen or respond to you is not going to be your pup. If the pup is resisting your lead immediately, it may be because of trust issues they have. This could be a warning sign of what is to come, or it could be simple wariness on their meeting someone new in strange circumstances. Asking about their experiences at obedience, submission, dominance and relationships will help you understand where the pup is at.
A persons belief on how they will perform as a pup is important, as it is they opening framework in which they will operate. Over confidence or nagging self doubt are equally troubling to learning pup play, and the person may need your help in early training to reframe their belief in their capabilities so they can be your pup.
A persons sensitivity to others is a measure of how neurotic and nervous they may be with you and with the pack. Fearfulness and anxiety are definite roadblocks, and a probable sign the person shouldn't be yours or anyone else pup right now. If the pup shows some empathy in the first, or at least early meet ups, they are more likely to form a meaningful bond of trust with you. Some sensitivity is good, and it is a better measure for you to use to judge a pups potential tie to you as their owner than whether they can obey orders.
Asking a person about their pup play and BDSM experience helps you see if they have anything special that stands them out as being worth training or adding to your pack. You can listen to hear if they have something wonderful or interesting to you they might bring to pup play with you.
5: Naked reveals everything
As a final step in this process you can and should ask your potential pup to get naked before you. Once they have stripped down, ask them to do a few postures if they haven't already. if you have had them doing some moves, then you can use this step to evaluate them like a dog being inspected at a show. You can ask them to turn, stand still, present themselves in different poses, and examine their nude body as if you are looking for best in show. In reality what you are really looking for is their energy and expression as a pup. Watching their body move, and how they carry themselves, will tell you a lot on their energy and enthusiasm.
6: End politely
Finish your meet and interview of your potential pup on a nice note. Be more friendly and open in expressing yourself than you have been so far. The person in front of you has extended themselves, and they deserve your goodwill and friendliness, so be thankful to them for their time and trust. If this isn't going to be a good match then you want to end on friendly terms and escort the pup out politely and kindly.
If you do want to train this pup you can show some enthusiasm towards their embarking on training with you. You can sincerely show you are very interested in having this potential pup become a pup through training and experience. Then they can go away and decide for themselves if you are someone they want to do that with.
If you want to own this person as a pup then it is best to be a little more circumspect and careful than a trainer. It is better to show you are receptive to owning them as a pup, but they need to seriously consider what that means for you both, and another meeting at another time should happen to discuss that - after you have both had time to think and process how you feel about your impressions of each other.
No matter what happens, try and look upon the experience of meeting this potential new pup as an interesting time for you both where you gained something new. If you don't feel that at all, then the energy is probably not there to relate to each other in the future. However, with reason and insight as your guides you should be able to make better choices on who you should have as your pup to train and own.