Integrity and Honesty

Honesty and integrity as a human pup means being true to your "self", but what that "self" specifically entails we will cover further on. In general, honesty and integrity means accurately showing how you feel in public and private. It means openly explaining and being accountable for what you intend to and actually do. It means identifying your commitments when they could be relevant. It sounds like a lot, and it is.

A pup with high integrity has a wholeness to their character. That human pup accepts responsibility for their feelings and behaviours, owning them, rather than hiding behind being owned by a Master or simply following supposed instincts of an animal. There is a dangerous path for some human pups who behave in an ad hoc manner, improvising to suit to the situation and their desires and then ascribing that to their "pup self" expression or simply a desire to have pleasure. A definite purpose of Sirius Pup training is to enable a pup to develop a pup self that is values based so that their integrity is based on values and motivations they have clearly identified in training. You can have fun and be honest and have integrity. 

Pup self expression is not the only possible pitfall for integrity and honesty, as these are traits that are so over emphasised by our modern western human society that they exist in a near impossible to attain standard, and are difficult to discuss without high emotion or it being personal. It hurts to be accused of being less than totally honest or having less than perfect integrity. Any deviation from their supposed absolute is seen as "falling from grace", a term which reveals the often religious underpinning of these high expectations. So readers beware, you are probably automatically biased to fall into goose step line praising honesty and integrity automatically as vitally important. What I wish to illuminate here is why they are important, along with many other values, for a Sirius Pup. They aren't meant to be values to judge each human pup harshly on, nor censure the less than perfect. So let's understand what they are in greater depth. 

Being a human pup means choosing to be different from the ordinary and expected

Honesty is more than just being sincere and truthful. It is an underpinning of integrity. As a human pup, you want your behaviour to be honest, to be consistent with what you say your values are - you practice what you preach. The use of of that religion laden phrase is deliberate. It is to remind us all that often our values are foisted upon us by other agencies, not just our parents or teachers. By engaging in human pup play you are choosing to explore out of the norm sexual expression, so you are likely to understand that you are best served by choosing your own set of values, not just those thrust upon you by local society. At this point I should remind people to actually consider values that are pro social and worthy of human pup play, yet it is not my job to decide what good values are. That is in fact your job. And that's the big part of integrity. It is more important to be true to yourself than to be popular. It is also important to be sensible and choose what self you want to be that will benefit you and the world. Ultimately your integrity as a human pup is found by embracing the fact that you have to decide for yourself who you want to be, and then be it. Just don't expect good results if you choose to be a dickhead. 

As I mentioned in the first sentence, your integrity as a human pup is contingent on your understanding that your pup self is a role you play. Your pup self is a lived character in an unfolding personal drama that is your bdsm life. Your pup self is a story, a narrative you can believe and participate in that gives you goals, gives you standards of behaviour and ways to interact, and gives you relief and defence against anxiety as a human. 

As a person you can benefit from this integrity to your pup self. The more you explore and understand how you feel and think, how you express a self, the more honest you will become. It gives you a chance to adapt and grow and make positive changes in your life from that honesty. 

Integrity is an important value a human pup can possess, and it will develop through human pup play as you - a human being - feel free to create a pup self that is interesting and important to you. Your pup self is authentic and real to you, coming from an internal world, coming out of you from within. As a human being you complete the loop , showing integrity once again, by acknowledging and owning that you create this pup self. 

Anti social values have consequences

A vital component of honesty is recognising that integrity and honesty don't exist in a vacuum. They exist in society, in your social sphere. Having integrity usually leads to positive interpersonal exchanges, it results in good relationships. An honest and authentic pup is liked more of course, but we have to recognise why lying occurs. Sometimes a pup can be tempted to be deceitful to be liked or cared for. This action only yields a temporary success, as people dislike being deceived. So dishonesty to get approval or care backfires badly in the long run. A deceptive human pup is inhibiting his positive personal growth and risking his good relations with others. 

As stated before, the very words honesty and integrity are often treated as moral absolutes in human society, despite the fact that lying and deception are taught to children by their parents everywhere- santa claus is an easy example. Kids are told lies and given the idea that its ok for adults to lie to the ignorant, to kids, for all manner of reasons. So as people we end up becoming skilled at deception, but judged harshly for using that skill. 

Being a human pup, you can strengthen your personal integrity and honesty by developing a pup self that is adequate in expressing your real feelings and personality. By drawing from your internal world, you can express truths about you that may be stymied or thwarted by your human life. Sirius Pup training covers being passive, aggressive, and assertive in self expression so that a pup can tap into under expressed feelings and give them a safe place to be expressed. You get to choose what pup you will be, and then act that way - thus achieving integrity. That expression of your pup self to your Owner and Pack demonstrates your honesty. A Sirius Pup is asked to think on and develop some specific social values -such as bravery and open mindedness, rational calm and curiosity - so that you become a healthy and happy pup in our pack.

Ultimately what you are as a pup is up to you, and you have to choose to be honest about why, how, and when you do all you do as a human pup to show any integrity.