Pup Play is Funny not Fun

Ask any dog owner and they will tell you their pet 'smiles'; their dog shows happiness, joy, even mirth according to them. Ask many people involved in human pup play if their pup smiles, and they will respond with an "of course! Pup play is fun!" 

It is a fairly reasonable assumption for everyone to make that human pup play is pleasurable for those involved. The exact nature of the pleasure, the fun they describe they are having, will vary from person to person. Despite the lack of consistent metrics for what this fun is, a lot of people into pup play claim it is fun focused. This claim needs scrutiny to better explain what is actually happening in human pup play. 

At the outset we need to separate fun and pleasure as outcomes. They need not be mutually exclusive - for many people fun and pleasure are entwined, like eating popcorn watching a hilarious movie. Describing them as separate does not imply they must be or it is ideal for it to be so. Merely that in the specific case of human pup play it is helpful to differentiate pleasure from fun. 

Pleasure is very important in BDSM, fun is not. Intimacy, whether leading to sexual arousal or not, is pleasurable but not exactly fun. You can get hard and horny and not laugh or smile. In this case, human pup play is unusual - like tickling play - in that it most certainly brings humour and fun to conventional BDSM for a lot of people. Yet, it is perfectly possible to engage in human pup play for pleasure and it not to be fun or humorous at all. A point that will be reiterated with good reason later. 

At this early beginning of discussion the use of the word 'fun' is a problem. Many english speakers use it as a synonym for pleasure. Indeed, 'fun', and 'funny', can be used to mean what is pleasurable, humorous, playful, witty, enlivening, even nonsensical. Given that pup play involves pretending to be a dog and looking ridiculous - any tail in the arse looks silly on some level - the word 'fun' can indeed be used to describe pup play properly. But like they say in the Princess Bride movie, " you use that word a lot. I do not think it means what you think it means".

To understand human pup play better we all can benefit from comprehending and acknowledging that pleasure, and fun, are different things. Though they can occur together, they most certainly can and do occur separately in human pup play. 

Pleasure as part of pup play can be assumed to be there almost any time. It is such an actively pervasive part of BDSM, if not every persons daily actions, that we can reasonably assume that people look for pleasure in what they do - they will work and endure as they must, but given opportunity and resources, they seek pleasure. At this point the denying monks shake their heads. That is ok. Chastity in BDSM is pleasure, just not so directly. So, we can all rationally and sensibly assume that pleasure seeking must be part of the motivation to engage in pup play, if not the outcome of doing so. 

Fun is a playfulness, a behaving with vitality and humour. It is most often associated with an innocence, a carefree spirit, a good mood. We tend to believe fun and carefree behaviour reflects a kinder and 'good' heart. Look back to the smiling dog , and see that we want to see a good nature in the pet when we see it 'smile'. That the dog is regulating its heat and being alert to new activity doesn't matter to the human owner, because they see a smile and then project onto the dog the idea the dog is having 'fun'. That the dog is happy, good. 

This happens in human pup play too. Owners and trainers, handlers, even other pups, project onto pups the 'fun'. If a dog smiles at playing with a ball, surely a human pup should too? It is helpful to understand it is 'human' pup play. Most of the time humans show faces of grim determination in ball play, not big happy grins with our tongues lolling out. We often project onto a pup, or a dog, what we want to see - not what is actually happening. And because 'fun' is associated with 'good', we easily rationalise that its ok to do this. 

Playfulness and fun truly can be so easily projected, that is placed as occurring for someone when it is really just what the owner or trainer who threw the ball or gave the pat expects to see. This is not to say that smiling doesn't happen under the hood when a pups patted. It is simply that the projection, the expectation of happiness and fun, needs to be acknowledged that the viewer is projecting at least some of the time. 

So if fun doesn't have to be there in human pup play, and it can easily be projected onto a human pup when it isn't happening, who do so many players of pup play claim that fun is so important? 

Firstly, many people simply use fun to mean pleasurable. Lacking a precise definition of fun and pleasure, the human pup player interchanges the terms. This is a not a fault of theirs rather a symptom of a convoluted language they are thinking in. 

Secondly, another reason is that pup play is 'fun' in action for many people. It is 'play', an activity of playfulness. Yet this element, 'play' - 'fun', does bear further examination. 

The fun and play of human pup play is often meant to be a generally interactive style. Pups rarely have 'fun' 'playing' alone. More than simply requiring company, often the expectation is that a pup will be cheerful, a pup will respond well and positively to a smiling owner or handler, and a pup will be coaxed to cheerfulness if not in that state already. This expectation is best not described as 'having fun'. It is all the demanding expectation of the owner of handler after all. This described expectation of a pup being ready and having fun is best redefined properly as expecting a pup to be in 'good humour'. Understanding what 'good humour' is helps us understand the practices of human pup play better, rather than simply projecting and lazily assuming it's all fun. 

It may seem strange or confronting to speak of 'fun' as something expected, something almost demanded in pup play. Yet, consider how a master, how a pup, behaves when something is 'not fun'. The failure to deliver fun can be poisonous and unnecessarily negative in a pup play experience. By understanding 'humour' as the term rather than 'fun' we can find ways to sidestep the negative of 'no fun' and its often drastic consequences. 

Before this becomes too confusing, let's clarify- 'no fun' simply means an absence of 'fun' when it is expected to be there. Keep in mind that experiencing pleasure and intimacy in human pup play doesn't have to involve fun or playfulness. Yet, the trait of 'good humour' can be very helpful even when fun is not present. 

You can have a good pleasurable time at pup play, but no fun, and having good humour can help in play. 

Good humour in pup play simply means recognising the ridiculous - that a human is pretending to be a dog - and enjoying that incongruity, rather than being confused or repelled by it. Playfully recognising the impossible, a human pup and their master indulge in play with a preparedness to pretend there is a canine present, who really isn't a canine, but it's not so serious - we are allowing a false reality to exist for play, an illusion and fantasy which gives pleasure. 

Those without good humour are obvious in that they reject this premise, they react with derision, disbelief, hostility, even disgust. A person with good humour not only indulges in the fantasy and plays along, they also can react to the negative and other adversities with light heartedness, by joking. The good humoured won't let someone being gloomy or negative take away their sense of humour, their fun, their play. 

Because straightforwardly pup play is funny. It is ridiculous. It is absurd. It requires good humour to participate in, to go along for the ride of make believe of what is happening. It may not be 'fun' all the time, but it is always 'funny'. 

Too often in BDSM, sarcasm, cruel wit and derision become common conversational practice. Human pup play can remind everyone that approaching things with good humour helps us find the fun, the pleasure, in what we do in BDSM. It can be a laugh when a tail pops out accidentally, it can cause us to smile when a pup is affectionate. Not because pup play is 'fun', but because with good humour in our hearts we can find the funny in it all, and smile really. 


A wonderful quality that pups can embody is enthusiasm, a feeling of aliveness, experiencing energy and vitality. That feeling and experience during human pup play can be contagious, spreading enthusiasm and good feeling to others watching human pup play, not just to those participating. 

A pup is alive and feeling it!

This special quality of pup play is very important. Some scenes of BDSM can and do have the viewer in a 'separate' place, a remote observer who may experience a taboo like vicarious pleasure. The participants in such BDSM scenes can definitely be performers, on a stage to be observed. Let's remember though - this is not every BDSM scene or participants being described, and even for those being described thus it isn't meant to be critical. Remote observing is a legitimate experience, and a worthwhile experience. 

Human pup play very often breaks that wall of observation, crossing over the distance between remote viewer and participant. By a pups enthusiasm and vitality, he or she often emotionally can connect with an audience. The energy a pup puts into pup play becomes infectious to those around. Spreading enthusiasm and energy is a great characteristic of human pup play because feeling full of life, feeling vital and enthused is good for everyone's well being. 

Of course, the line here is enthusiasm is not a licence to be a dickhead. Unfortunately some pups take it upon themselves to be ill behaved and bad mannered and act like dickheads. When you are annoying others it is not enthusiasm. It is you being a dick. The line is obvious and it is up to a pup and his Owner and Trainer to learn it, and not cross it ever. Annoying people bad - spreading enthusiasm is good for everyone. 

Physically a pup and person experiences better health, a better function of their body, as well as relief from fatigue and stress when enthused. Emotionally a pup and person becomes more effective at what they do when they feel alive, vital and enthused. So it is worth a pups time to focus on enthusiasm in pup play. A pups vitality, their energy can be inhibited and diminished by pain and suffering, by fatigue and depression. Even diet and actions such as smoking or taking drugs definitely affect someone's feelings of energy and vitality in a negative way. 

Feeling enthusiastic and vital is a preferred state for a pup, and they and their Owners can seek out and create times and places of restoration and recovery. Rest periods can obviously help a pup recover energy and vitality. Helping to increase a pups energy levels can be done by exercise, helping also combat depression at the same time. The 'black dog' of depression sucks the vitality out of everyone. To help any pup who can be plagued by this emotional black dog, exercise and lots of different social contacts do help. Feeling enthusiastic and vital is directly related to a person, and pups, body image and self esteem. So an Owner and Trainer can help a pup by being aware of a pups vitality and energy, and helping build on it. Enthusiasm is more than just about mood, it's part of a pups overall health. 

There can be a limit, a finite pool of energy that a pup has to adapt and learn their limits for play. Being able to rest and recover, and being fit and healthy vastly improve and training experience and make play wonderful and fun for a human pup. 

First Collar Training Survey

Hi pups, here is a survey to find out what has been helpful articles for you on First Collar Training. It is pretty simple, and from it I can look to see what needs revising. Click on the level of agree you have to indicate how useful it was to you in First Collar Training. If you think the training section would be better placed in a different collar or removed, then you indicate strongly disagree. If you think it is an absolute essential to all early pup training then you strongly agree. Otherwise its a choice somewhere inbetween showing how useful it was for you. 

I recommend reading each page and viewing the accompanying videos before making a selection on choice.  You can cut n paste the url easy enough into your browser. If you are using your phone, then simply use the menu and review First Collar Training in descending order. 

Name *
Your Pup name *
Your Pup name
the name you use in human pup play
FCT Survey 2013 *
FCT Survey 2013
do you like the article and consider it useful for First Collar introductory training?
are there any sections in First Collar Training you think could do with some clarification - articles that could be made easier to understand

Gender barriers for female pups

This article is for everyone, no matter their gender, in human pup play. It can help to understand where people may be coming from, and what hurdles they face that don't have to be there.

So - you're a girl. You were born a female human. It probably won't surprise you that in coming to pup play, you can face unwarranted expectations and attitudes on how you should be behaving, from other other pups, and Owners and Trainers. The good news is that those expectations and attitudes can be worked on to help make pup play as gender neutral as possible, rather than allow the sexist human attitudes be a barrier to participating and experiencing all the fun.

Of course, being a woman, the mere fact you could be facing prejudice and entrenched attitudes at a fetish play that is really so out there - you assume the role of canines -  it is truly bizarre to see why men might be sexist about this. Especially if they are gay males who have probably faced discrimination and bigotry themselves from other males.

Unless you have been conditioned to believe the stereotypes yourself, and think you are a princess waiting for her man to solve her problems - or watched Sex in the City and got sucked in to the subtext - you should have already developed a bit of a grit your teeth and grin and bear it response to sexism. It will help to start at that feeling as the first barrier at pup play. 

Your first task is not to be angry as sexism happens, but to forgive it. Everyone in society is bombarded with ideas and expectations of what women should and shouldn't do in their human life. As a pup, you all have to let got of that anyhow. So you can afford to be forgiving as the aim of pup play is to lose human inhibitions and be a an animal that doesn't have stupid attitudes. This pup play activity has a good likelihood of being a win win for your equality. Starting a discussion or fight for acceptance at the first sign of sexism will slow the whole play down and pull the tent down on the performance. A "grin and bear it", followed by a "forgive them because society indoctrinates them" will help you get access to play early on and from there you can help effect change better. I am not advocating forgive and 'agree' with it - no way - rather just don't waste time and energy on this battle, when as a pup you can win the unknowingly prejudiced over in the end. 

The sirius pup training discusses the importance of setting aside your human moralising during pup play, as outlined in FCT Interaction. Sexism and attitudes to gender that humans have should definitely be set aside. Identifying those attitudes can be hard at times though, as most human pups like to think of themselves as very broad-minded. Anyone in pup play can be labouring under some preconceptions of women and pup play that create genuine hurdles to a fun time for all.

Here are a number of mental barriers you may need to overcome, regardless of gender, to help a woman simply be treated as a pup same as a male pup. Take time to consider them, and if you are a pup, discuss them with your Owner and Trainer if necessary.

Female pups are not dominant, not leaders, not tops

As a guy, for some reason you might think that a female pup can't be more powerful than you, or even leader of your pack. For a start, you may consider that she needs a cock to be a "top". Maybe fucking the arse of someone communicates dominance to you. Well, you don't have to shift your thoughts too much there. Just take the tail butt plug out of your arse and let the female pup use a strap on to take your hole and take you down for your sake. Problem solved. As for leadership, gender is irrelevant, as you are all learning to be pups and adopting new personas, supposedly free of human prejudice. 

If you foolishly subscribe to some notion that pack behaviour has to be modelled on a wolf pack in the wild, think again. Look at yourself - you aren't a wolf. You are a human being pretending to be a canine. The persona you create as a pup doesn't have to have your gender preconceptions, nor should it. After all, you will never be in a wolf pack in the wild - and if you were, gender would be the least of your worries. 

Female pups are too emotionally sensitive for pup play; they are only in the scene looking for a husband

This line of thinking stems from a long history of envisioning women and treating them like this - "without a relationship, you are nothing, you are useless and wasted". The underlying message has been that a woman needs a relationship to be fulfilled, that she seeks love rather than carefree fun. It is there in the awful image of a woman as a cat or feline with her claws waiting to get stuck into a man, rather than the playful faithful hound men get to be. This is all rubbish. Women can fuck indiscriminately and men can be yearning for romantic love constantly. Men can be needy and women resolved and self reliant. The way to break out of this prejudice is to look upon human pup play as an opportunity to play as a pup, where sex and intimacy have new rules you evolve with other pups. Put aside preconceived notions of what anyone should be doing for relationships, or not, and find values and rules that work for all of you in play. 

Females are too nice to be rough and sexy pups

You might think that a woman cannot piss anywhere to mark territory, put a tail in her arse, growl and bark deeply, or hold her own in a pack of male pups. You are wrong. Woman can and often do endure stuff going in them with a lot less whining than men, and given they face menstruation for a large part of their life, they are not delicate flowers afraid of 'down there'. You don't need to worry about anyone's body but your own in pup play when to putting tails in. And the etiquette of peeing on people or grabbing tails works for any gender. As for rough n tumble - there is no need to view human pup play as soem type of gladiatorial sport - it isn't. It's play, not battle. Preconceptions that women aren't as strong and rough as men are irrelevant. 

These are just a few of the preconceptions that can get in the way, and you may certainly consider more. The key focus if to put the gender issue out of your head before engaging in human pup play. A human pup is a human pup, and once the hood is on it doesn't matter what's underneath.  

Pups can be curious but it doesn't really matter what's under the hood

Is it a boy or girl tail?

This article raises the issue of gender for human pup play. In no way is it an attempt to set an agenda for what people do in the privacy of their own homes, however, it may help to raise awareness of the issue of sex and gender in human pup play in some way for those who haven't experienced or thought about what being a boy or girl pup might mean in relevance to human pup play. The position taken is my own, the Boss at SiriusPups. I do not assume I am an ideal of what I am espousing either. 

What can make human pup play an extraordinary bdsm experience is that human sexuality is almost completely irrelevant to the play. The use of gear - pup hoods, suits, tails - almost immediately separates the pup from being looked at as a human being with a specific gender. Before I go on, it is important to define what sex and gender are for the terms of the article. Sex is your biological human sexuality, gender is your psychosocial sexuality. Whilst a human pup may not be donning a frock or putting a sock in the pants like a transvestite, costume is still being worn a lot of the time. With the use of sheathes, strap ons, certainly a male gendered pup can be simulated.  

That last point raises the issue of genitals. In human pup play they are just a small part of the experience. Having one set of genitals over another, that is being of a specific sex, is not really important in human pup play activity. It should be obvious that masturbation is common to both sexes, as is urinating. That the equipment used to do that is different is less relevant than a tail is wagging from someone's arse and they have a dog hood on to simulate being an animal....to actually behave not of your species. Pause and think about that. Yet, cock or cunt seems to be a human issue not easily let go off. 

Women, transgendered, and indeterminate people can find barriers to engaging with others in human pup play. That really is no surprise, since everyday human life in our supposedly egalitarian societies can treat those people mentioned above with mild to appalling discrimination and alienation.  

Although many people would claim to be very open minded and fair, unfortunately that enlightened attitude can stop if they have to encounter genitals, human sex, they don't find arousing. A sexism, a belief in the need to keep genders separate and practiced attitudes from that, can and does occur in human pup play. 

Whether any of us wholly or marginally embrace or disagree with the statements above, human pup play enjoys a capacity to actually sidestep the debate on human gender and sex. It is simple - every human pup is a pup. That simple statement is a mantra worth reiterating often.

Every human pup is a pup. Note that the sentence doesn't contain girl, guy, man, woman, boy, lady. Once you start adding that label, you bring human gender issues to pup play directly. That in itself may not be bad, if a lady pup is just as powerful and self determined as a guy pup. If a boy pup is not called boy because submission and femininity are seen as related or interchangeable. Ultimately you want to be able to trust yourself as an Owner or Trainer or Pup that a pups genitals, their human sexuality, is not the defining feature of them as a pup - their tail is. The pups commitment and effort as a pup takes them to a place where the human sex is left behind. 

This is a very personal outlook, and I recommend it, but don't demand it. It requires a consideration of language approach, and attitude towards gender. Given that it may seem easier to just be a guy, and to tell transgendered pups and women to find their own niche, why should I, as Owner of Sirius Pup Pack make this effort? The answer is because every human pup is a pup - and I train the tail, not the cock or cunt. I recognise that human pup play is a fetish focused on human animal roleplay. It has a goal to leave behind much of the human social experience, and forge a new animal self. Losing the human sex and gender seems a small price to pay for a fairer place for all to play. 

At the very least be aware that your choice of language and your behaviour can serve to unintentionally marginalise others in human pup play

The Sirius Pup Pack one year on

It has been a year since our pack formally came into existence. In that time we have seen a lot happen in our personal lives, growing from our experiences and becoming wiser people. Puphood has come to mean a lot to us all in the pack. What it is to be in a pack has come to mean much too. 

The pack is a place as a well as a group. A locale that may not have a geographic centre - it is roughly somewhere on the east coast of Australia - but definitely has an emotional home. Its boundaries are not walls keeping others out, they are fences with gates to let the right ones in. Our pack has experienced a very public life since we have embraced the new media digital age. We are still learning how to navigate the eddys and tides of the great "others" in the pup world out there. Being popular means little to me, yet I have come to appreciate the responsibility our pack has to the community. I started the site to communicate to our pack, and it has become a reference for others too. We are all now conscious of that and considerate of what we can add to pupdom for the future.

The pack is a family that has no parents or children, a band of brothers that does not depend on gender. We have found that being in the pack is something different, and special. It is at once a deep abiding friendship of love, yet also like a family you can feel all kinds of conflicting emotions at your packmate. There's a shared activity and pursuit that is personal and intimate, puphood, and yet every pup is different under the hood. As things have happened over the year, the emotional support we have given one another means a lot. It is not easily quantified in words. 

As Owner of the the Sirius Pack, I have found it a rewarding challenge, one I hope to rise to meet every day. Six pups, going on seven, and our pack is strong and diverse and talented, but not always easy to manage. One of our pups is currently on probation and getting his shit sorted, and having to put a pup "outside" has been a very hard thing to do. The pack demands its own healthy rules is what I have most definitely learnt.

You're not a parent, nor a coach, nor a buddy, nor a lover, nor a best friend - as owner of a pup, you can often be expected to be all of those. I know that I cannot wear all those hats - I like to remind pups that I am not there to be fuckmaster general and have every pup as a sex toy. Given the pack size of six, I would be exhausted and dead of a heart attack within a day. I got my limitations both physically and emotionally. The pack gives me strength though, and reminds me each day that not only do I have a lot to do for them, I have a pack - they would never let me fall or be alone in the wilderness. 

Looking to the future, I hope to see us together in distant years and looking back with fondness and wonder at the journey we took. I am amazed at this past year, and the richness that knowing these pups has brought me. For our future selves, a note:

"look to the evidence of how the journey has helped you grow in so many ways"


From a little pat on the head it begins

Wild Raised versus Human Pup Play

Human pup play has people adopting dog like behaviours and traits, and in the context of BDSM and fetish play this is a fairly safe and sound practice. For a few rare human beings, because of extreme circumstances, they have had no choice but to adopt lupine and canine like behaviours to survive. These are the very rare cases of human children who have been separated and isolated from human society and forced to grow up with wolves. Many of the stories of children raised by wolves are fabrications, yet from a few legitimate cases we can learn something about how humans act at being a canine, or more properly a lupine, when they must. By analysing some of the common traits to all those legitimate cases we can perhaps shed light on what can be some universally adopted human pup play behaviours. So we define the common traits and then examine how they might be relevant to human pup play.

It is important to note I am not an anthropologist, nor am I claiming the conclusions presented here are to be seen as anything other than speculative thought - a musing on human pup play and its comparison to those unfortunate children raised in the wild. In no way do I advocate raising a person with dogs or wolves and bereft of human love and care. The damage these victims have suffered takes a lifetime to repair, and we all should feel compassion for the wild raised. 

The most immediately noticeable trait that humans raised by wolves showed was that they tended to walk on all fours. Not on their knees, rather on their feet and hands. Behaving like a quadruped obviously helped them integrate into wolf packs. For human pup play we can see the benefit of being on all fours as it clearly delineates the human from the pup. A man standing upright might be in pupspace in his head, but a man on all fours looking up art his owner is clearly wanting to be in pupspace. 

Wild raised humans would eat and drink from a plate or bowl on the floor, but only after smelling it. Given they preferred to be on all fours it is no surprise that they eat from the floor and not a table. What is relevant is the smelling of food before eating. Humans raised by wolves would sniff everything they were given, food or not. The use of smell as a primary sense by canines and lupines is well known, and we can reasonably conclude that scent and using the sense of smell have to be front and centre in human pup play. Human sight is very well developed, and we rely on our visual and audio perception to construct most of our sensual reality. Placing a focus on scent and making an effort at scent play will help define pup behaviour and creating a pup thinking created sensual reality. Sniffing is under utilised, and often socially frowned upon, but it really helps show a human is in pup mode.

Those humans raised by wolves and away from human contact showed a lot of aggression and hostility, alternating that with suspicion and fear. When frightened, they would back away snarling, showing teeth like a wolf. Anyone approaching these wolf raised was greeted with growling; coming close when they ate meant snarling and even snapping of the jaw occurred. This aggressive behaviour no doubt worked in the context of a wolf pack in the wild.

A human pup should never need to try and bite anyone like a wolf does. It's a dangerously anti-social behaviour, and very unsafe in sensual of sexual play. The sounds of growling and snarling are very obviously non human behaviour, and well placed in pup play. The bestial sounds remind all involved of the animal side of human pup play. Yet aggressive postures and behaviours need to be trained, used in moderation, and clearly defined for what purpose they serve. Threatening and hostile behaviour can be erotic, but both Owner and pup need to use those behaviours wisely and with safeguards. At the end of the day, the essential fact remains - human pup play is meant to be fun, not a battle for survival every moment. 

A lot of snarling and growling by wolves involves struggles for dominance within the pack. Wolves are actually a quiet animal, mostly silent when travelling or hunting - for obvious reasons. Their cousins, canines, tend to be noisier, yet they can provide us better ways to express the struggle for dominance. It is better to look to them as they have lived with us humans for millennia  and adopting wolf behaviour for dominance is dangerous for human pup play.

Our canine companions attempt to dominate us in far more subtle ways. They stare directly at us, they lean against us, they try to push us. Even a behaviour as human friendly as putting their doggy paw on our knee is actually a canine asserting dominance. These subtle dominance gestures, along with growls, are supportive of fun and sensual pleasure in human pup play rather than the possible physical assaulting and emotionally hostile behaviour of wolves. 

In conclusion, we can remember that the very few humans raised by wolves have not led idyllic lives of pleasure. Living in the wild left them physically damaged, and emotionally scarred. The experience of living in a wolf pack conditioned them, forced them, to adopt some behaviours but they could not fully be themselves as humans. Each case is slightly different, but we can see from those few common traits they all shared a similarity to adopted behaviour in human pup play. We can conclude that posture, scent, and behaviour are paramount to human pup play - but what is essential to human pup play remains up to every pup and Owner. No matter what you chose to do, training and learning to be a human pup is safe to do in the privacy of your own home or with others, but not in the wild. We can leave that for the real wild animals.

Bravery becomes leadership

Human pup play teaches everyone involved the value of leadership. The structure of the play, whether between a pup and owner, or within a pack, has the owner and trainer telling pups what to do and how to do it. Your owner and trainer is there to get you doing what you are supposed to be doing, and he fosters and maintains positive relations between everyone in the pack. Without this leadership, human pup play often devolves into just mucking about in some fetish gear. 

Sometimes one thing takes precedence over the other. In training it is important for your trainer to get things done right, and in play it is your owner encouraging everyone to share pleasure and have fun. So the direction and guidance of leadership does change according to the circumstances of the scene of course, but the practice of leading does not. Certainly in other forms of bdsm the master can sit on his arse and just have submissives do everything for him. Not so in pup play. 

An owner and trainer does his role because he wants to have a positive impact on his pup, to be and have been an important person in his pups life. Doing that well means your owner and trainer has to do several things.

You owner and trainer has to set goals for your training and help you accomplish them. With a pack involved, he actually has to build it - enlisting pups into the pack and building the team as a coalition whilst smoothing ruffled feathers. A good owner and trainer makes his pup feel special, persuading his pup to participate and be better than he is now. And a pup looks up at him and sees someone he wants to follow.

Where a pup is brave and a potential inspiration to others, an owner and trainer is someone that more than a pup can look up to. His leadership helps his community, and his confidence affects his peers so they engage in bdsm more confidently and competently. On a personal level, an owner and trainer leads his pack towards collective success in training and in enjoying the rewards of play. 

Your owner can also speak for you pup, and the pack, as he will take the initiative in social situations. That taking charge can range from commanding during urgent situations, to organising the pack so they work together, even to explaining to others what is involved in pup play. As a pup, you look to your owner and trainer to protect you in public areas, and to solve complicated problems and resolve conflicts to keep the pack together. Your owner and trainer doesn't need to be hostile or possessive to do this, instead he can calmly assume his leadership role with the knowledge his pups look to him and support him. That support is given because he deserves that support, his reward for what he has already done in helping you to develop your pup self. Your trainer will have helped you do tasks and practices better, earning your respect and support.

For all of us, leadership is a personal quality we can develop. It requires being aware of our social environment and behaving effectively within it. As a person you may feel shy or insecure, as a pup you practice and develop social skills in pup play, and you can eventually bring them across to everyday human social situations. You can see the value of leadership in pup play and then find yourself becoming a leader in social situations. It is done by emulating the qualities of your owner and trainer, the behaviours they have demonstrated by nurturing your pup self and always being concerned for your well-being and progress. You have seen that leadership is about promoting, directing, and managing social action - guiding other people to do what is appropriate in the scene they are in. Leadership is grounded in a need for dominance, but you have seen how dominance does not have to be destructive for others and instead can nurture and help them learn and grow to be independent and fulfilled. The simple maxim is that in human pup play, a dominants power is used constructively for all involved. 

It can and does happen in bdsm that some masters use their power over others for their own self satisfaction. These masters use their social skills and charisma to ensure those they are controlling are submissive, enacting degradation on their pups to ensure control and to reduce and destroy their pups sense of worth and self. A good owner and trainer will actively focus on your welfare pup. Avoid a master who has a self serving or warped view of what you need as a person and as a pup, or simply wishes to dismiss your needs and wishes. Remember a dog loves his master and trusts him absolutely, so we all despise dog owners who abuse and harm their pets for their despicable abuse of that trust.

Puppy Love is worth it

What is love and when does it happen?

The answer to this question is very relevant to human pup play. Some pups are just seeking a good time in fetish play, but many more are looking for a deep and abiding relationship with either an owner or another pup.

Love occurs at its most developed in your relationship with another - be they master, pup, lover, friend, family, whatever role - when you are loved in returned. Love is best when it is mutual. That love can be defined by the sharing of things together, helping each other, giving and receiving comfort and acceptance, and relating to each other in affection, even intimacy. You know it's love because it feels good, it feels positive to experience, and we are prepared to commit and even sacrifice in some ways for it. 

It is a giddy feeling to lose yourself in love, to go from being you to being us in a relationship. To misquote Austen, it is a truth universally acknowledged that people want to find love and be fulfilled by it. And when you are in love and loving, when your relationship is loving and fulfilled, you inspire others. Your love does not diminish others, it raises them up. The world around you is better because of your love. Your love helps provide the framework, the solid building of a civil society. Love is between parent and child, leader and follower, partners of romance and so on, to form our society. It is so important to human life we are exalted by it, and it underpins our bonds of society to one another. That's what love is, and ideally a pup should love his owner, and an owner should love his pup in return.

From the outside of pup play, many people assume it could only contain at best a passionate love, borne solely of and limited to sexual desire. These onlookers judge pup play as a fetish, as all about fucking and being thrilled sexually. That is an opinion, and they are entitled to have it. Sex has a place for many people in pup play, not just because it includes an orgasm. Often that physical and intimate relating we call sex, or fucking as I like to say, brings emotional closeness. Both an owner and pup can utilise sex to express their love and make the other feel special. Even a trainer can use intimacy and what we would otherwise consider foreplay actions - stroking, fondling etc - to communicate with his pup. What is the nature of this love? It's a question I am personally interested in as I have a partner, my wonderful husbear, and I like to be able to tell my bear that my pups are not a threat to our already established relationship.

The relationship of pup to owner and trainer is undoubtedly a romantic love, but we need to consider that there is more than one way to love. Hollywood would have us believe that romance is a formula and better than any other love. It isn't. And romance does not have to have sex to be genuine. The relationship between owner and pup, and pups in a pack can and usually does involve more than just sexual intimacy. It is natural for pups to rely on their pack, on their owner, for affection, for protection, for care. That is love in action. An owner and trainer had best acknowledge within himself that he too relies on his pups. To pretend to a distance, to behave with an attitude of controlled remoteness and diffidence to a pups emotional love, can lead to a pup feeling alienated and alone despite being "owned" by his master.

Love from a pup is not like that of a partner or parent, it is unique to itself, yet as genuine as those other forms.

Puppy love is when a pup relies on his owner and trainer and trusts he is cared for. AS a pup you open yourself up to develop and grow your pup self. Your owner and trainer are your guides, your inspiration, your love. It can be distressing for a pup to be separated from his owner, because that love from his owner makes him feel safe. It is like being a child to a loving parent, except the roles have obviously been abstracted a bit and changed - unless your upbringing was very very strange. It's through the fantasy and the roleplay that you can let go pup and put yourself in another's tender care again as you once did in your much younger years. A pup needs to acknowledge that he is giving himself over to this loving relationship in pup play, but beware of adopting infantile behaviour in everyday life. Training helps to learn to distinguish the two and be a sensible well adapted person and a pup. 

Your owner and trainer express their love by their care for you pup, as they assist and support you to become the pup you both mutually seek. Your owner puts your need to become a pup, to realise your pup self, ahead of his own needs a lot of the time. Like a parent does for their child. Your owners reward is often to be happy when you are happy, to share in your joy and fun.

Despite the similarities to parental love to child, what is happening in pup play is not immaturity. The tail, the hood, the trying to become a dog show that this is a primal expression of love. Abandoning the complexity of your constructed human personality, you can demonstrate love in what you experience at a much more certain and straightforward manner. A dog loves his owner, and an owner should love his dog. It's a companionship love that is part of our society too.

As a pup you will feel that you can be free to be yourself with your owner and trainer. He is there to support you and you can trust him. Your owner and trainer loves you because your happiness matters as much to him as does his own. You are his pup, and he is committed to your welfare. The affection you have and express for each other makes being in each others company pleasant and fulfilling.

The benefit of you having a loving relationship in pup play, not just seeking sexual gratification, is that the love makes you stronger. You cope with the stresses of your human life better knowing you are loved. It becomes easier to form loving relationships with others as you know love is fulfilling and worth the effort. 

By learning through pup play to see love being manifested in a primal fashion - by avoiding human language and seeing love expressed non verbally - it becomes easier to see those cues in your human life. Having read the cues as a human pup, and then been rewarded with love and care, you gain the confidence to reach out as a man. You can grown and make the world better as you love others sincerely and bravely. 

Improving your Owners confidence in you

From time to time you will falter and make mistakes in human pup play. Mistakes really do help you learn, but they can be an unwelcome interruption to smooth relating with your Owner. It is natural for you to make mistakes; it's also natural for your Owner to be frustrated when you are not being the pup you and he envisioned. Much of human pup play is fantasy made real, and seeing the wheels come off the fantasy cart so to speak can be very jarring and unpleasant. Under the sections Master Learning I discuss how your Owner can handle your mistakes and do better than simply show frustration. In this article I will discuss the things you can do as a pup and person to ensure your Owner knows you mean well despite the occasional misstep.  

Owners and Trainers ask pups to do things all the time. The way you respond, pup, can make a crucial difference to their confidence in you. The best way to respond to requests from your Owner is with a positive "I can do that Boss" or "I will do that Sir". The positive reply shows you are keen and committed to acting on your Owners wishes.

Of course, there may be times you will want to say no to your Owner. Saying no is always your right to do so. What is important when doing so is avoiding creating feelings that are uncomfortable or confronting. Neither you or your Owner want to be uncertain of what is going on with the other, or feel a drama is developing just because of someone saying no. To help you can respond to a request you want to say no to with a question. Be polite, be calm, and ask rational questions. Whenever your Owner is making decisions or demands you don't like, asking for his reasons behind what he is asking, his objective or goal is going to help you understand why it may be important to him. That information also lets you suggest other ways to get what he wants, hopefully including you getting what you want to.

Whatever you do, don't automatically make assumptions if you are uncomfortable. That can cause problems as discussed in the article Assume not. When saying no to your Owner always try to emphasise what you can do, rather than what you can't or won't. By emphasising your willingness and can do attitude your Owner can see you are being a keen pup, helpful, and not obstructive. 

Keep in mind that your Owners time is valuable, so you had best not be asking him questions constantly. Sometimes you can find the answer  you need with the resources for your training, or from your Trainer. Even fellow pack members can be helpful. You can defer some questions and take time to think about the questions, so that you can ask succinctly and with any other questions you might have in a short period. It is best to get your questions done in a half hour of a time out rather than every five minutes during play. 

Feedback is important for a pup, as you want to know your Owner is happy with you. An easy way to get helpful feedback is to ask your Owner about specific things. Try to refer to experiences you have both shared, speaking about visible, tangible events rather than discussing vague feelings and anxieties. You can both then focus on that aspect of pup play and find a solution to a problem or introduce something new together. You can always assume your Owner means well pup, and asking about specific things shows you are paying close attention to what you both do. 

The best way for your Owner to  know of your active positive engagement in puphood is to tell him. Your Owner wants to know how you are doing, and you will want to tell him of your successes and how you are achieving results. A positive outcome in play can seem minor to you, but every little success or good pup time will remind your Owner he is doing well. You don't need to go into great details, unless your Owner asks for it. 

You can effectively build your Owners confidence in you little by little by using positive communication as often as possible. You Owner also will enjoy being able to remember the good times you have had together and your successes as a pup, so never underplay those when talking to him. Be happy, be positive, and engage in a friendly manner and you have already gotten your Owner believing in you.


Remember that pup play is fun

Fight or Flight is not your friend

One of the biggest hurdles to entering pupspace easily is stress. It is the way your body reacts, with you consciously or subconsciously feeling under threat, that will transform an easy mental transition to the pupzone into a very arduous task. It is stress that you have in common with a canine, as the human body responds to a situation it perceives as threatening by giving priority to fight or flight to what you think is happening. 

The stress response was useful when human lives were often in danger. It is unlikely as a pup you are ever going to need that stress response to protect yourself. You shouldn't be needing to give priority to either running away or fighting something. However, when you are upset, try telling your body that!

The real problem for you pup is that whenever you feel threatened your body makes the decision to get stressed whether you like it or not. And feeling threatened is easy to experience. You are going to have some anxiety, most likely some apprehension like stage fright. 

When you are under that stress your sense become more acute, as you pay attention to the immediate environment for your own safety. Things that are simple and immediate become easier to do. However, harder more complicated tasks become much harder to accomplish. Your creativity takes a nose dive as you become more focused on a desire to move or simply do something to resolve your threatening situation. The important thing to note here is that your perception of the world changes, and that affects how you behave as a pup and interact with others. 

There will be situations you might find scary

Overcoming the stress hurdle can be done in three ways. Firstly, eat well, get some sleep, do some exercise, and don't obsess and overly focus on pup play as the most important thing in your life. You don't have to do all that in order, but the more of those things you do pup the less stress you will have. Looking after yourself is very important, and the efforts you make to rest and be healthy pay off as your body and mind cope with surprise and distress better. 

Secondly, deal with episodes of stress when they occur rather than ignoring them or trying to soldier on through it. When you experience the stress pup, take a time out from what you are doing to break the momentum of that physical stress response. You can distract yourself by doing an unrelated task to what you were just doing, something totally not connected to pup play. If you are hooded and afraid of breaking the scene for all involved, let your trainer know you need a moment - and then you slowly and silently count to ten. It gives you a breath so you can think. Take slow deep breaths and relax. 

Thirdly, consider your thinking. Your are unlikely to be thinking clearly as you are probably reacting to something you feel is threatening or distressing. Are you making dangerous assumptions? You have to make a mental effort to recognise that your big reaction to something is based on what you think is going on, not necessarily what is actually going on.

It is possible and all too common to start reacting to something inappropriately. You can avoid this by not focusing on what has happened and the stress of the situation. Ask yourself pup, what does the situation mean to you? Really - what is the true significance of what is happening. Once again, you can check your assumptions. Knowing and understanding the personal meaning of what is happening, use your imagination to consider other possible meanings. It's common when you're tense to come up with terrible and negative interpretations of actions and events. Think of other possibilities  By questioning your interpretation, and considering other possible reasons for things, you reduce your stress level. 

Sometimes it ain't easy to engage in pup play, and things will happen to throw you out of your relaxed pupzone. Your responding to anything stressfully will ruin your fun and play so it's worth taking the time to follow those three practices to a more relaxed pup experience 

Assume not

You might think that the physical challenges of being on all fours and the mental leap into pupspace in your head are the big hurdles in human pup play. They aren't. You can learn those things over time. The hardest hurdles to get over are the ones that require you to unlearn, to stop doing things that you have been doing naturally for decades. One of those is making assumptions. 

Assumptions can put you in danger in pup play

Making assumptions can strain your relationship with your owner and trainer and other pups as misunderstandings occur. By thinking that your master or a pup is going to behave in a certain way before he has even had a chance to act you are making assumptions which can cause trouble. Big trouble if you are in pup mode and you don't want to break the mood.

You can't avoid assuming because your mind works like that. You can pay attention to how you assume things regarding your master as knowing how your assumption works will make it easier to avoid pitfalls associated with it. The truth is that even when your head is in pupspace your brain will still make assumptions. It's a critical human capacity you just can't lose and still function. Anticipating problem situations, your human mind assumes things - such as the fact that being on all fours means you move slower than your master on two legs. You assume this and it helps you formulate a response if an unexpected situation arises - such as your master having to run across the hall, needing you to follow. You automatically follow through on that assumption that it's probably an emergency and getting up off all fours to run on two will work better for you. 

Assumptions lead you astray when you stereotype people; that is when you assume that anyone who is from a different group than you - whether it be race, gender, sexuality, age - behaves and thinks in the same way as the whole group you have classed them into. These stereotypes are your own bias pup, and they often offend others and discriminate against those people being able to participate equally and fairly in pup play. Common stereotypes are often just based on ignorance as a person doesn't know what the hell they are actually talking about since they haven't dealt with or been educated on the matter. Some common assumptions that are wrong and will lead you astray are that all Alpha pups are sexually dominant and don't want anal sex done to them - the gay scene calls this type of person a Top - rest assured if it comes with a hanky and a term its a stereotype. Another is that women prefer to be feline and kittens rather than pups. Of course the most pervasive of stereotypes is that all pups are submissive. You  can avoid stereotyping others by dealing with every person as an individual. Get to know each person you deal with in pup play and make an effort to understand them. Doing this will improve your communication with your owner and trainer and others pups,  as your healthy dealing with pups in community pays off in your private sphere when you bring your increased learning of others ways of doing things and their unique experiences to your pack. You may note that this very article is offensive to women as it assumes pups and masters are male. That's how stereotypes can creep in and become accepted standards. 

Often you can find yourself in difficulties  with your owner and trainer when you assume that your master has intentions behind his actions that are actually not true. This goes very badly when you assume the worst and get anxious about your masters "assumed" intentions. It can be something as ordinary as you seeing your owner being friendly to another pup and you assume that you are no longer cared for as much as you were a moment ago. These assumptions cause annoying and often very detrimental outbursts from you as you find yourself carried away by the assumption and start acting on  it. By focusing on intentions, on why you think others are doing what they do, you can often go very wrong pup as you find yourself interpreting minor and inconsequential actions as being terrible and potentially devastating. A molehill becomes a mountain becomes a big hurdle to enjoyable pup play. 

Communicate in a caring and positive manner and you get better outcomes in pup play

The easy way to avoid this shit happening is to ask questions. Of course, the way you ask is also important. Avoid passive aggression - no one likes being guilt tripped or sulked at. Speak respectfully and with care to whomever you need to clear something up with and it is likely to go fine. Listen, actually listen, and absorb what is being said. Don't jump in and challenge what you hear because you are upset. Be a good pup and control yourself and use the positive power of assumption. Assume the person means well. After hearing what was intended - or not intended - move on. Immediately begin to do something else and have fun. By dealing with and accepting others in the pup community at face value you will be a friendlier pup who is socially welcome. It's important to avoid these emotionally destructive assumptions by engaging with others and asking them the rationale behind their actions. Deal with the facts and not your assumptions and that grounding in reality will help you function better in a bdsm scene that is very heavy on the roleplay and nuance. 

The general rule of communicate first, act second will always help with assumptions. Check with your owner and trainer, ask other pups in the pack, question and inquire. That way you can coordinate your effort at pup training. If you find that you don't know something, admit it to yourself, and try not to assume anything. Ask, listen, learn and you will become a better person and pup. 

Remote Training in 2013

As you read this website you may not be immediately aware that the information provided here at siriuspup,.net is for the Sirius Pup Squad first and foremost. It is to help the pack learn and practice to become the pups they want to be over time. All of us in SPS live apart, so this site is a primary source of review and training. We meet as regularly as our schedules allow to build on what we are sharing. What has surprised me is that the site has become helpful to others as well. Each week I receive email through our Contact SPS form with requests for advice and training.  

If you read everything here on the site, you are likely to learn at least one new thing about puphood. If your aim is to understand what pup play is about, then our site can help be one of many voices giving a view on that. We provide links to other places to find out what they think as well. But if you are reading siriuspup.net to become a pup, you really need a Trainer. An Owner would also help, but you most certainly need a Trainer to help as your guide and teacher, giving you feedback and support. It is always easier to learn with a teacher guiding you. 

However, it isn't always possible to be with your Owner and Trainer is what we are learning from the pups of the world. And we at Sirius Pup know that ourselves. Distance and time can be serious hindrances to learning what you might want to know to become a pup and being sure you are getting it right. Not only that, our busy lives and personal commitments often don't make it any easier. It can also be a serious drain on your resources to travel to your Owner and Trainer. There are also the relationships we have in our lives to consider, as our families, our partners, our friends expect us to fulfil our commitments to them and your loved ones can have a hard time understanding you being "owned" or "trained to be a pup". 

All of those things above are true for us at Sirius Pup, so we sympathise with pups in places in the world who are struggling to find their inner pup, and live it somehow sometime. We can't travel to you nor can we send you a plane ticket to come here, although pups who can travel are welcome to come kennel and have a stay at the bearcave where I live. What we can offer is a 21st century solution to the problem that can help. Remote training. Thanks to the internet, and broadband, we can provide the lessons with video and occasional live chat. 

To learn anything about puphood and follow the same path the Sirius Pups are on will require compromise on your behalf. We don't suggest in any way that remote training is a substitute for the love and care of a guiding Owner and Trainer in the room with you. It is simply a best can do substitute. And that learning substitute may help you as a pup, and your potential Owner and Trainer as well. Collar training is for pups, Leash training is for Owners and Trainers.

Remote training is going to have to cost something, as I work full-time and have serious commitments to my husbear and friends, so I really can't spend my days and nights here or in a Google hangout. More than that. the work I am doing here is worth something. As the new year begins I will embark on creating a method of using the internet even more to train and provide guidance and tutorial for those who want to learn. I promise and commit to a reasonable and fair price, and to deliver what I promise. My goal is to have not only 2013 be a year when Sirius Pup Squad has broken new ground for itself as a pack, but we also have new pup friends overseas who understand where we are coming from and get the best training and camaraderie our pack can provide  Quality and sincerity is important to me, so Remote Training cannot begin till I am ready and fully prepared. That should be sometime next year. Look here for regular updates. 

For those who are lucky enough to have an Owner and Trainer, we welcome your feedback and suggestions.

from the left: Trooper, GPup Alpha, Brand, and PupBoss Jyan in the centre